Friday Satire

Today certainly does not feel like a day for humor, but I'll offer up a few links in case you need a pick-me-up.

- Andy Borowitz suggests that one name on President Bush's Supreme Court short-list could shock the world: Paula Abdul. Says press secetary Scott McClellan "I think Paula Abdul’s abilities as a judge, which millions of Americans have had an opportunity to witness week in, week out, speak for themselves."

- Also on the Supreme Court front, word from Scrappleface that Senator Ted Kennedy has issued a preemptive strike against President Bush's to-be-named nominee, calling him/her a "brutal, Bible-thumping, right-wing ideologue who hates minorities, women and cocker spaniels." The Massachusetts legislator told the press his aides have already uncovered "reams" of evidence that the nominee has "a history of abusing subordinates, dodging military service, hiring undocumented workers, spanking his or her children and rolling back the clock on human rights to the days when the Pharaohs ruled Egypt with an iron fist."

- Well, it's not Paula Abdul, but The Swift Report has found that Americans favor Judge Judy, Judge Joe Brown, and Judge Amy Gray as possible replacements for Justice Sandra Day O'Connor.

- Going back a bit, the Capitol Steps comment on the President's Fort Bragg speech in "If I Only Had a Plan" [ram format].